well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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