Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
