I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
