So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize