Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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