He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
