At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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