I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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