My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
