I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
