yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
