you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
