He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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