The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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