best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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