Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
