one two three fourrrrnication!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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