so let's talk penis.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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