i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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