did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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