New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
