I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
