where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
