so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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