she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
