Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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