Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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