I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
