I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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