i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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