Pappa wants mamma naked
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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