Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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