My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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