was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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