Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
