Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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