Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We got so high we made milksteak
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
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I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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