Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
