im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize