I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
