I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
