Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize