Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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