Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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