Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
