Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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