If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
