i permit you to call me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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