My liver just broke up with me...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
