i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I understand Curling. That high.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
