I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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