I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
