I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
