idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
