Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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