I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
