If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why do cheetos always look like penises
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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