He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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