I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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