apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
two words: eviction party
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
