This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
