Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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