DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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